Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them
We put the “k” in “kwality”
If something doesn’t feel right, you’re not feeling the right thing.
Artificial Intelligence in no match for Natural Stupidity
A person who smiles in the face of adversity… probably has a scapegoat.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos… then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.
Your job is still better than asking “You want fries with that?”
Plagiarism saves time.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
This can’t go on for ever – Even the Third Reich only lasted 12 years
TEAMWORK … means never having to take all the blame yourself.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Every time I think I’ve hit rock bottom, somebody throws me a shovel.
If at first you don’t succeed… DELEGATE
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the heck happened?”
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
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