Dear Sir or Madam,
You have our sincerest apologies; however, we are not able to grant your request regarding the matter you mentioned. I can understand your reaction given the materialistic, narcissistic / supplicant driven society we live currently find ourselves it. However, I am afraid your behavior in the guise of a rational a human being is purely unacceptable. I hope that you understand that for the good of all humankind, society, and common sense, I will not be granting your preposterous demands. This resolution has been reached based on not the merit of the request, but rather manner in which the request was put forth. Rewarding such behavior runs counter to the greater evolution of the species. I do hope you are able to reflect on this moment and see that perhaps there is a better way to interact with your fellow man. I pray that this message reaches you in the manner that it was intended to; as a concerned, measured response to what can only be described as a vexingly overblown sense of rapacious self-entitlement.
Dictated, not Read,
The Management
